Simply Irresistible
by RoseMarieLynn
Summary: Now that it's all over, who can Harry and Hermione lean on but each other?  A love story that's too sad to be true... in fact, it's totally AU!
1. The End

Simply Irresistible

Author's Note: So my good friend mudbloodpotter05 practically challenged me to write a Harry/Hermione pairing. He said he'll tolerate a well done one. I said I'd write one that he couldn't resist liking. So here it is folks: enjoy the fruits of a friendly dare. 

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is my hero. I own nothing and take credit for nothing. Long live Jo.

Chapter 1: The End

The winter wind blew in knives across the half frozen lake. Harry, standing boldly atop the Astronomy Tower, turned his face to meet it. He didn't even flinch as it stung his cheeks, nor did he withdraw his hands from clawing at the icy stones. Crystals of tears froze on his nose, but still he did not yield.

'Let me freeze to death,' he thought bitterly, 'at least I'd join everyone I love.'

It had been a year now since his mentor and friend died atop that very tower; two years since his godfather had been sent headlong into the veil of eternity. Two months ago, his best friend was reduced to a pile of ash by Lord Voldemort. Still he had carried on. And they had won, but at a final and dear cost to his heart.

How many times had he tried to prevent this from happening? Why did everything he touch seem to get worse rather than better? How did he not see it all coming? And why did everyone trust him when he couldn't even successfully save one person twice in a lifetime?

A sob caught in his throat, and he had to turn from the wind to cough it away. His energy left with the air in his lungs, and he sank below the parapet. Shielded now from the wind, his coughing became deeper and more distressing. Before losing consciousness, he whispered into the night, hoping she would hear.

"Ginny!"

Six hours later, he woke in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. He didn't open his eyes, but the sounds of Madame Pomfrey's feet and moaning students couldn't be mistaken. He tried to roll over, and an overpowering urge to cough jolted his body. He gave in. On cue, Madame Pomfrey was at his side.

"There you are, Harry, give it a good effort. You're nearly better. There's only so much even an experienced witch like myself can do about a common cold."

Harry shot her a look, but she didn't see it under his matted hair. She stroked his back and mumbled some words and Harry instantly felt a warm relief go through his lungs.

"Ah, much better, yes? Now, drink up." She handed him a green tinted half glass. He downed all the water in it, surprised at how thirsty he was. It instantly refilled. He looked at the matron quizzically.

"It'll keep filling until you've had exactly one liter. If it's still full before lights out tonight, I'm afraid I'll be very disappointed."

As she turned to go, Harry found a rough, scratchy voice, "Madame Pomfrey?"

"Yes?"

"Is everyone else alright?"

"Doing well, my lad. In fact, you and Hermione are the only casualties of the conflict still in my care. Those at St. Mungo's are now stable, and some are recovering. Don't trouble yourself about it today." She tucked his blankets up next to his neck, "You wouldn't have had to be here at all if you hadn't gone and given yourself a chill. Just another day, and then you'll be free to go."

Harry sighed as the matron's soft, shuffling gate took her away and towards the doors of her office. A knock at the infirmary's main door startled her, and she wisely looked through the crack before unlocking the door. The current visitor didn't have the pleasure of her trust.

"If I've told you once," she shouted through the door, "I've told you a thousand times! My patients do not give interviews! They are here to recover. If you want, you can send an inquiry for an appointment with Mr. Potter to Mrs. Luna Longbottom. Now I'd thank you to leave my hospital wing at once. Good day!"

The memories came back in a flood at the mention of Luna. Sobbing between coughs, he cried himself to sleep.

Ginny looked at him, her green eyes snaring him with the gaze that made his blood run hot. Reaching up, she smoothed away his hair from his forehead. Lightly, her thumb ran along the shape his scar. "Does it ever hurt you anymore, love?" she asked compassionately.

He pulled her closer, and her warmth made him a bit dizzy. "No, not anymore. I've learned to keep him out."

"I'm so glad," she breathed. Sighing, she nuzzled her head into his neck before laying it on his shoulder. He leaned to kiss her head, and the smell of her hair overwhelmed him.

"I love you," he couldn't help telling her.

She moved to look at him and he was sad she did. But the thought of meeting her eyes again was not unpleasant either, and so he took lifted her chin with anticipation.

But the grass green eyes were empty, black holes now. Her skin went cold and clammy in his hand. She opened her mouth in a twisted smirk, and Tom Riddle's voice filled his ears with fearful rage. "You are a fool, Harry Potter, and you will lose everything."

Harry woke screaming. He rolled over in the hospital bed and vomited. Dusky sunlight shadowed his pale features as he slammed his head back up against the pillows. The vomit disappeared from the floor with a quiet _woosh_. He looked around and was glad to see no students in the room. He let the tears fall quietly.

"Harry?" A quiet voice to his left startled him. He looked over and found another familiar pair of eyes studying him intently. "Are you alright?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know, Hermione. Are you alright?"

"Of course not."

"Neither am I."

They sat in silence for a moment. The sun was sinking quickly behind the mountains, turning the well-windowed hospital wing all manner of golds, reds, and purples. The torches lit up before either of them spoke again. Hermione made the effort first.

"My hand feels much better, and my knee is going the right way as well."

"That's great."

"You haven't coughed in a while. Madame Pomfrey said you'd be better by tomorrow morning. That's good news, I suppose."

"Yeah. I guess then the reporters can have me. I can just see the headlines now: Potter Pops Prince's Plans, Pummels Pretty Girl in Process."

"Oh, Harry," was all Hermione could manage in response. A few more moments of awkward silence followed, and then "I've been composing a statement for the Order. It requires Remus's approval and yours, of course, but I think it's rather good. Vague, inspirational, and it should keep the media hounds off our backs for at least a week."

"Hermione!" Harry snapped, "Did it occur to you that I don't really care right now what the Daily Prophet has to say, or what anyone has to say! As far as I'm concerned, I'm done with this business! Tomorrow, I'm packing my things and heading out into the forest. No more statements, no more battles, and no more friends."

He turned over to look at her more squarely. He noticed tears in her eyes, but he had to continue. He was more determined now than ever before to leave everyone behind for their own good.

"I can't keep this up. I can't keep being the leader of people that I can't even protect. My own family keeps dying around me, how am I supposed to keep those further away from me safe too? Don't think I haven't read or heard anything in the last few weeks! Everyone wants me to be the Minister of Magic now. Hell, some of them even want to break away from Britain proper and make me King! I refuse. I refuse to be responsible for anyone but myself any longer. I'm going to fade away into obscurity, and that's that."

"Harry…" Hermione's tone was cautious, but firm. He stared at her, daring her to go on. He knew without using magic what she would say next. She set her jaw and continued, "It's not your fault."

"Then whose fault _is_ it, Hermione? Voldemort, I guess? But since when did his vendetta against me become his fault? We both knew that one of us would have to die!" Harry's voice rose to a fever pitch, "It's my fault because I let Ginny, and Ron, and Dumbledore, and Sirius, and my parents, and _everyone_ get between me and him!"

Hermione's gaze remained steady and warm as Harry shut his eyes, squeezing the last of the tears away. She'd never seen him cry so much. Ever since Ron… she couldn't even think of it. She felt a tear finally fall down her own cheek, and she wiped it quickly away. Her time for mourning had come and gone. She'd battled since then. In her heart she was still a soldier, and the loose ends of her mission still needed tying up. The grieving process could wait.

She looked at her General and, with an air of motherly command, said "Drink your water."


	2. Negative

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of his friends or anything else cool about this story. It all belongs to JK Rowling. And I'm sure she has WAY better things written in her next and final book of the series which comes out in less than 48 hours!!!!!

Chapter Two – Negative

The next morning came too quickly for Hermione. She'd slept too fitfully to feel right, and now the day was upon her. Her first thought, of course, was what she would accomplish that day. _Best ask the boss while he's around_, she thought.

Turning to her right, she saw Harry wide awake, staring at her. She started, and nearly fell out of bed.

"Careful," Harry said non-chalantly.

"Bloody hell, Harry!" Hermione yelled. She hardly ever cursed, and she knew exactly who she sounded like.

So did Harry. He turned his head to stare at the ceiling and was quiet.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said, righting herself on her mattress, "I'm not sure I'll ever be completely free of his influence." She found this last statement oddly comforting, and smiled a little to herself. Ron would always be with her.

"No, I'm sorry. I just couldn't sleep anymore, my dreams are so awful. You looked rather peaceful and I was just wishing I could do the same when you woke." He turned his head to look at her again, "And you do sound like him sometimes."

Hermione's heart swelled for a moment. She'd always admired Ron's courage and loyalty. Though she did not approve of his language, she was glad to be like him in any small way. "Thank you," she told Harry.

"And that one sounded like Ginny," he remarked.

Hermione winced. She still hadn't recovered yet from her best friend's death. She felt in her heart that it was going to be easier now that she'd grieved a lover. She tried to put the two feelings together in order to empathize with Harry. Recalling that night, however, she knew she would never quite understand.

Madame Pomfrey broke the strained silence. "Good morning dears! Slept well, did we? Now, Miss Granger, you ought to be healed by this morning. Up you get and let's take a look."

Hermione's face turned bright red. "Madame Pomfrey, may I have my wand a minute first?" she asked.

"Why, whatever for child?"

Hermione swept her hand over the coverlet that covered her midsection and legs. Poppey's eyes grew round. "Oh my, yes dear, one moment."

The wand was brought, and she found to her delight that her wand hand was in perfect shape to grip it. Quickly, she cast her clothes back onto her person, and before she knew it she was standing with the rest of her belongings beside her. Her knee felt right as rain.

"Now then, off you go to your chambers, Miss Granger," Poppey said naturally.

Hermione did a double take. "Pardon me, my what?"

"Your chambers. You have a meeting with the Headmistress in an hour, so I suggest you be quick."

Hermione was confused, but complied quickly. As the heavy wooden doors shut behind her, Madame Pomfrey turned to face him.

"Well, Mr. Potter, your turn."

Harry breathed deeply, threw back the coverlet, and stood boxers and all before the matron. She performed a few charms to check his temperature and other vitals before declaring him cured. Harry's bags packed and his figure now properly dressed, she took a moment to inspect.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure you'll do just fine. Of course, it's all up to you. Now, to your chambers with you as well; the Headmistress is expecting you in an hour and a half."

Harry shook his head. He had wanted to leave the castle as soon as possible, but a meeting with the Headmistress couldn't be overlooked. He'd say his goodbyes to her before setting out.

He found the gargoyle just as it had been. However, today's password, spoken by his escort Professor Flitwick, was considerably different. "Raven's Writing Desk." The gargoyle swung aside and Professor Flitwick left Harry to climb the stairs on his own. Professor McGonagall walked out from behind the desk and met him in the middle of the spacious office with a warm embrace.

"Harry Potter, I'm so glad you're alright. I feared the worst when we found you on the tower, nearly frozen to death!" She pulled back and looked him in the eye, "Come, let's talk of happier things, shall we?" She motioned for him to sit in one of the overstuffed armchairs in front of her desk. Harry chose to stand. He noted that the office had undergone some changes of furniture and equipment. Yet the portraits of former headmasters remained, including Dumbledore's, which at the moment was dozing contentedly. He felt he recognized the slight smirk on the wizard's face, and had to look away.

"Professor," he began as he met her eyes, "I'm not sure why I've been assigned chambers, or why you asked to see me. But before anything is said, I want you to know that I intend to take a holiday from society that may remain permanent if I so choose. I chose to come to this meeting to congratulate you on your new post. You are by far the best choice. You have always been there for me, to protect me and even punish me when I deserved it. I don't know how many times I've been in this office with you at my side, and it only seems right that you fill that chair in the absence of our great friend. I wish you well, and I'm afraid this is goodbye."

Minerva looked shocked, and silence fell for a moment as she blinked. He thought he saw her eyes glisten, but her next words betrayed no hint of grief. "I understand that you feel very strongly about this, Mr. Potter, and I appreciate that you want some time away after everything you've been through."

"Thank you Professor. Good day." Harry turned to go.

"One more thing if you would Mr. Potter."

He paused at the door but did not turn around.

"As you consider your choice to return or not, I hope you will be pleased to know that you are my top choice to instruct Defense Against the Dark Arts here at Hogwarts. I believe now that all is… settled, as it were, you would bring the greatest experience and the greatest stability to this post that we have seen in over twenty years."

He thought he heard a catch in her voice as she ended her speech. Somehow, he wasn't surprised. He didn't know quite how he felt about this new information. His thoughts were concentrated on leaving everything behind. And, after thanking the Headmistress yet again, that's exactly what he did.

To his great annoyance, Hermione met Harry in the courtyard as he dragged his trunk and carried Hedwig's cage out of the castle.

"Where are you going, Harry Potter?"

"To see Hagrid." Her walked past her. She pursued.

"And what's all this?"

"What does it look like?"

"So then you refused McGonagall?"

Harry set his trunk down rather heavily and turned to face his friend. "How did you know?"

"I met with her not an hour ago. She offered me her old position teaching Transfiguration."

"And what did you say?"

"Well, I accepted of course! They don't offer these posts to just anyone, you know!"

"Yes, well, you'll be happy to know that I didn't refuse. I simply delayed my answer."

She looked at the ground and half whispered, "So then you're really going away?"

"Wild hippogriffs couldn't stop me," he stated, turning and picking up his trunk once again.

She looked up and called after him, "What about a friend?"

Harry continued walking.

Hagrid's hut was as cramped but homey as ever. Fang practically swallowed Harry's glasses as the huge dog licked his master's good friend. Hagrid himself was jolly at first, but the subject quickly turned to Harry's luggage and the news came forward.

"Harry," Hagrid said, looking at him in the same friendly and confiding way he had during their first trip to Diagon Alley, "I can't tell ye how proud I am to know that the Professor is considerin' givin' you a class. Trust me when I say it's the best feelin' in the world ter teach. Ye sure ye can't be persuaded to stay? Er at least take a shorter holiday?"

"I'm sorry, Hagrid, I've made up my mind. I will write, though, I promise. I think Hedwig will like the outdoors."

"The outdoors? Where are ye plannin' on spendin' yer holiday, Harry?"

"I thought the forest would do, I've always wanted to explore it. And I've always found the lake very calming."

"Ach, Harry, that it is. But I wouldn't go this time of year. Too cold. Ye best stay with us here at Hogwarts until the Spring thaw comes."

Harry felt compassion for the half-giant with a big heart. "I know this might be hard for you to accept, but I can survive on my own. You and Professor Sprout taught me well enough. I want to experience the winter, and watch the world wake up in the spring. I'm craving some perspective, and it can't wait."

Not surprisingly, Hagrid sniffled a little and had to blow his nose before he could reply. "Well, Harry, ye can use one o' my knapsacks, and I'll keep yer trunk here for safe keepin'. But promise me ye'll come back for it eventually."

"I promise."

Harry stood and the two began stuffing clothing, food, and blankets into a large sack. Hagrid reminded Harry one by one of all the dangers held in the forest. The traveler tried his best to catalog them. Finally, he threw the knapsack over his back, and then carefully lifted Hedwig out of her cage. She nuzzled him gently on the ear as she perched on his right shoulder.

"Now Harry, remember everything I told ye first year: those woods are a dangerous place! Don't go wanderin' without thinkin'," Hagrid warned. He then turned to the bird "Alright, missy, ye take good care of the lad. Ye looked the smartest of the bunch that day that I picked ye for young Harry. Don't ye let me down."

With that and the biggest bear-hug Harry had ever received, he was out the door and down the path into the woods. He walked for some time, past the Thestrals and other creatures that Hagrid kept for the school. He walked through the clearing where he'd found the dead and bleeding unicorn first year. He passed the big tree that once anchored Hagrid's half brother. He gave the den of the Giant Spiders a wide birth. Finally, he came to a pretty little lagoon whose tress let in an extraordinary amount of light. Water rushed in and out of the lagoon, giving its banks a quiet but calming sound.

Harry sat down on the cold snow and opened the sack. Like any good wizard's bag, it was enchanted to hold much more than its size allowed. So much more, in fact, that Harry had a hard time finding what he wanted. In a last ditch effort, he pulled out his wand.

"Accio sandwich!"

A ham and cheese sandwich zoomed up from the contents of the bag, nearly hitting him in the face. He sat and chewed on it for awhile, and thought only of Ginny. What would he do now that Voldemort was dead, and she was gone? His life's purpose was practically eliminated. If he chose not to teach, what would become of him?

The sun began to set and Harry dug through the knapsack again. This time he easily found the tarp and blankets that Hagrid had insisted on loaning him. The tarp popped up nearly instantly to become a four sided pavilion style tent, more than big enough for Harry, and another blanket was actually a rug charmed to look smaller. Harry dragged the knapsack inside and shut the flaps. Sure enough, a warming spell had been cast on the tent, and Harry felt none of the piercing cold of the wind that he had just two nights ago.

"He still doesn't trust me when I say I can take care of myself, Hedwig," he said as the owl found a perch on one of the wooden rods holding up the roof of the tent. She hooted in agreement as Harry spread the over the icy ground, then took the rest of the blankets and stacked them out for a bed. Before the sun had set completely, the water's sound lulled Harry into the most contented sleep he'd had in weeks.

**Author's Note: Okay, we're plodding. I apologize, but I really feel like this chapter was necessary. Trust me, it'll all come together. The plot will pick up and run in the next chapter! Also, please don't think I have any knowledge of what's going to happen in the next book. If I have my way, all of this will be AU when it comes out. I'm sorry about any confusion that may have gone on with the first chapter. Keep your questions; they will all be answered eventually in the story! Thanks for your support! That said, please R&R!**


	3. Pause

No spoilers here. Just thought I'd let everyone know that I've decided to take a week's break in memory of the departed, and also to consider my options with the story at this point (I have **much** more outlined than you see here). If nothing comes to me in a week, I'm going to delete the whole thing. If this upsets you terribly, eat two chocolates and comment on this "chapter" in the morning.

….

I mean it!!!! Those of you who stayed up all night reading need to sleep. Trust me, I know it might be difficult, but just shut your eyes and think happy thoughts….

**THUD**

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….


	4. Still Life

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is my hero. I give her credit for everything in this story except the incredibly inferior plot. She's too cool for that.

Chapter 4 – Still Life

Remus Lupin blinked in the sunlight on his way to the red phone booth. He kept his head down against the chilly wind. As he opened the door and squeezed inside, he avoided scraping his black muggle suit on the metal edges. He pressed a few buttons on the key pad of the old pay phone and felt the floor of the booth jerk before beginning a slow descent.

Inside the Ministry for Magic, he looked up, smiled as best he could, and held his head high as his dress shoes clicked on the marble floor. The general hubbub hushed and slowed as he made his way toward the main lifts. Heads snapped around to stare in his direction. A few witches and wizards walked up and shook his hand while others hung back, unsure of what to make of their werewolf hero. He received admirers and thanks pleasantly, but waved off reporters. Eventually he reached the lifts. Several wizards insisted he take one on his own. As soon as the doors closed, Remus lowered his head again.

And so it was that he arrived in the Minster for Magic's office five minutes earlier than expected, as ready as he ever would be to recount the end of the war.

Remus stood as the Minister, Kingsley Shacklebolt, entered. They shook hands and then sat across from one another in two high backed chairs.

"Thank you for coming so quickly after your release from St. Mungo's, Remus," Kingsley said, "It's good to see you up and about."

Remus nodded, "Thank you, sir, it's good to be here. I'm afraid Mr. Potter has taken an extended holiday and will not be able to join us."

"That's disappointing. I do hope he's well." They were silent for a moment. Finally, Kingsley took out a notepad. "To business then, shall we?"

Remus nodded again and leaned back in his chair. He studied the wall just above the minister's head and began the tale he came to tell.

"As you know, Minister, Harry Potter did not return to Hogwarts after the death of Albus Dumbledore. Instead, he went into hiding at Aunt's home. When he turned eighteen years of age, he was transferred to the Burrow where he remained for the duration of the war.

"The Order continued to meet and do business from Grimuald Place with Mr. Potter's permission. Coordinated searches for the Horcruxes were made. Each capture cost the Order dearly in lives lost, including that of Ronald Weasley. But each horcrux came eventually to Harry who subsequently destroyed them via the sword of Godric Gryffindor.

"With each destruction the Dark Lord grew more desperate. Finally, the sixth horcrux was identified as his snake. We captured and killed it in mid October. In retaliation, Bellatrix Lestrange kidnapped Ginny Weasley, who had returned to Hogwarts, passing us key intelligence during her time there. Our eventual mission to rescue Ginny was unsuccessful. We fought hard, many of us were nearly fatally wounded, but Ginny was killed before we could reach her. Still, Mr. Potter destroyed Voldemort."

Remus lowered his eyes to meet the Minister's. "And that, my friend, is how the war ended. We have won, but such at a dear cost. May we never know such a time again."

"Indeed," Kingsley replied. Another moment of silence followed. Kingsley crossed his legs and leaned back.

"Remus," he said quietly, "I'm afraid I didn't call you hear simply to hear the story of our victory. I have some bad news."

Remus's eyes fell. "What is it?" he asked.

"We've received word that a small contingent of Death Eaters has fled to the edges of the forbidden forest. We believe they intend to make one last attempt at taking the School."

"Merlin's beard," Remus said, leaning forward. "What can I do?"

"From our intelligence, we believe that The Order of the Phoenix is still sufficient in numbers to meet this threat. We need to you make one last stand, Remus, in order to truly win this war."

That evening, Hermione Granger sat at table in number 12 Grimauld Place scribbling in a notebook. Remus, Tonks, Molly, Arthur, Fred, and George sat with her, each engaged in their own plates.

"Hermione, dear, please pass the gravy," Molly said.

Hermione looked up, found the gravy, and passed it down to the end of the table via George. She lowered her head toward her notebook again, but Molly kept talking.

"Sweetheart, I didn't ask you to dinner so you could work all evening. Please, set that aside for a moment."

"Oh, right. Sorry." Hermione turned around on the bench and put her notebook on the hutch behind her. When she finally looked at her plate, she realized how hungry she was and tucked in.

Molly smiled, "That's better."

"What was that you were working on?" Arthur piped up.

"Arthur, I just got her to put it away. And look, her mouth is full. Don't be so rude."

"No, I'm curious too," Remus said. "Swallow, Hermione, and then tell us if you will what exactly has had your attention all this evening."

Hermione swallowed a bit, tucked some sausage her in cheek, and said, "It's a statement to the press."

"Really?" George turned around and snatched the notebook.

Hermione made a grab for it, but he turned away just in time. "It's not finished yet!" she insisted.

George, laughing, began to read:

"Ladies and gentlemen of the press, you are all aware by now that the Dark Lord has been defeated. We are beginning to rebuild. We call upon every witch and wizard in Britain to rejoice and lend their aide in our recovery. This is a glorious time and a great victory. Let us embrace it and never again yield to Evil.

Many of you have asked repeatedly to be informed of how exactly it was that the Dark Lord himself was vanquished. You have asked to speak with many members of the famed Order of the Phoenix in the past month. We ask now that you delay your inquiries pending an official report of events from the Ministry for Magic. We especially ask that you direct all requests for information concerning Mr. Harry Potter to his assistant, Mrs. Luna Longbottom. Again, there will be no official statement by any member of the Order of the Phoenix or any of its affiliates until such time as an official inquiry is conducted by the Ministry. Thank you."

"Wow, Mione, where'd you learn to write like that?" Fred asked through a mouthful of mash.

"Well," Hermione said, still looking at the table, "when one reads often, one is more likely to retain different turns of phrase. So they say."

"I appreciate the statement, and I think it's a capital idea. This ought to keep the hounds off of us for another couple of weeks at least," Arthur said.

"That for sure," said Tonks.

"What do you think, Remus?" George asked, passing the notebook toward the head of the table.

Remus took the notebook quietly. Now seemed the moment to inform them. He sighed.

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep them away for more than just a couple of weeks. The Ministry won't be ready to prepare its report until the conflict is truly over."

Molly dropped her fork. "What do you mean?"

Everyone leaned toward Remus. He scooted back in his chair, stood, and then leaned on his hands toward his friends, his eyes baleful but determined. "The Ministry has received intelligence on a small group of surviving Death Eaters assembled in the forbidden forest. It is believed that they intend to retake Hogwarts. The Ministry is confident that the Order alone will be more than a match for them. The Minister has asked that we take on this one last challenge."

Fred and George both stood. "Let's do it," they said together.

Arthur took Molly's hand. Their eyes met. She nodded. "We're in agreement," he stated.

"Remus," Tonks said. Getting up, she moved beside him and put her hands on his shoulders. He placed his hand on one of hers, nodding.

Everyone looked at Hermione who was still staring at the table.

"Psst!" said George, shoving her shoulder.

Hermione looked up. She shook her head. "I'm sorry everyone, but I can't agree to this."

"You can't _not_ agree, my dear. We don't have much choice," Remus said gently.

"If you order me to do this, I will," Hermione said, finally standing. She stepped over the bench and made her way toward the front stairwell. She paused in the dining room doorway. "But if you want my willing help, you'll let me do one thing first that will guarantee that we win once and for all."

"And what's that, dear?" Molly asked.

"I need to find Harry Potter."

**Author's Note:** As you can see, I've decided to continue with the story. Special thanks goes to my honey, mudbloodpotter05, for helping me jump back on this story. If you haven't yet read his stuff, now's a great time to jump in! "Simply Irresistible" is now entirely AU, though I have decided to preserve some things in common with Jo's version of how things ended. I know this chapter was short, but I don't like rambling explanations. Thanks for waiting so long. Please R&R! Thanks!


	5. Rewind

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is a creative and literary legend. She owns all characters, names, and places below without which I wouldn't be able to bring you an entirely new plot of which she would probably not approve because she wrote a better one.

Chapter 5 – Rewind

Harry sat inside, warm against the evening chill. He listened for the ice breaking and sinking on the lake. Pine bows bent and groaned as the snow melted and fell away. The sun sank below the horizon, a bit later today than it had yesterday.

On his pallet of blankets, Harry sat, quill in hand. After two months, he finally felt ready. A blank journal lay open on his lap. The first page bore a note in a woman's script: "To Harry on your 17th birthday with love from your Ginny." The top of the second page read: "To Ginny who will never be forgotten from your Harry." Half way down that page, Harry recorded his memories of Ginny Weasley.

I remember the day that I killed the Basilisk. I remember being glad that my best friend's little sister was alive. I don't remember falling in love with her. I think Ginny knew before I did. She always knew what I needed before I did.

I tried to tell her not to go back to school. But she knew we would need someone at the castle, someone we could contact. She was always thinking of others. And Molly didn't want her to quit her education for anything, not even a war. And so she went. I shouldn't have let her go.

What I don't understand is why they waited until that night to take her. I suppose that trip to Hogsmeade was the first chance they had without the threat of McGonagall. We had told her not to leave the castle. She wouldn't have come if I hadn't been there to meet her.

We sat holding hands across the table, butter beers finished and set aside. Ginny laughed, telling stories about Gryffindor pranks played on Crabbe and Goyle. Something to do with transfiguring the seats of their chairs into pin cushions. She cried when she told me about her troubles in Magical History class. She worried about her NEWTS on top of everything else. She smiled when she told me about besting the new DADA teacher with her fully formed patronus charm. I needed that night so much. I'd been doing nothing but cutting up horcruxes from my birthday to that Halloween night. Three were down, including Nagini the snake, but there were four more to go. Still, I finally felt able to relax a bit that night. It was the last relaxed night of my life.

He kept looking at us. I thought he was staring at Ginny. I tried to look at him back, in the eye, intimidate him into minding his own business. When he started walking toward us, I stood and walked behind Ginny's chair. I started scooting it out from under her and whispered in her ear.

"Don't turn around. Just get up, take my hand, and follow me," I told her.

She didn't ask me any questions, just got up. I gripped her hand and led her toward the door. Another man stepped in front of it. I turned around to see three more people coming at us from all directions, wands in hand. Ginny and I whipped ours out.

The man who had been staring at Ginny said, "Steady now, no need to violent. We just need you both to come with us."

"Never," Ginny said, squeezing my hand.

"Yeah, what she said," I said.

"Oh dear," the man said as they all crept forward, "It won't do for my Lord to miss his guests for the evening. I guess we'll have to take you away." He paused for a moment.

"Take them."

All five of them came at us at once. I stunned one, while Ginny stunned another. But two of them got their hands on Ginny. I struggled, punching and kicking them away from me. A woman came after me. Stunning spells flew all around. The other men kicked down the door, Ginny slung over one of their shoulders. She looked me in the eyes, tried to scream through her gag.

"Ginny!"

I stunned the one that wasn't carrying her. The woman tried to stun me. I ducked, then ran out the door. I could still see her eyes, there was still time. "Help! They're taking Ginny! Somebody help!"

The next thing I knew I was laying in the street. Tonks and Fred were standing over me.

I sat up. "What happened?"

Tonks was still trying to put a bandage on my head. "What do you mean? You came running out in the street screaming about how Ginny was gone. Asking for help. So we came."

I think the first rush of memory in that moment was worse than losing her. That's the moment that the guilt invaded my gut and never left. I couldn't see her eyes anymore. I didn't know where she was or what was happening to her. No more time to get her back.

I shook my head, "Why didn't they take me? Where're Ron and George?"

Fred answered, "Ron and George went to chase the one that got away with Ginny. The rest are still here. We got here just after they stunned you. They're all tied up now."

I jumped up. Tonks fell backward, but I didn't stop to help her up. I needed to know.

All four people were sitting on the floor against the far wall, hands tied behind their backs and no wands. I charged toward the woman, wand at the ready. Remus's arm stopped me short.

"Harry," Remus said, "No one is talking. We need to get them back to Grimauld Place to question them." 

"Just give me a moment with them, Remus. I'll find out all I want to know."

"I –," Remus started, but stopped as George and Ron ran in, panting.

"Can't – find – them," Ron said between breaths.

George took a deeper breath, "They must have apparated away at the edge of the village."

"Damn-it," Remus said.

I rounded on the prisoners. My wand was against the blonde woman's neck in a heartbeat. "Where did they go? Tell me!"

Remus shook his head, "Save your breath, Harry, they're not going to talk."

"Why not?" I asked, still staring straight into the blonde woman's eyes.

"They're Death Eaters, Harry. The dark mark on every one. If they talk, they die. We need to get them somewhere that the Dark Lord's measures won't be effective." He got me up and turned me around to look at him. "I'm afraid she's gone," he said, "For now."

Harry woke up the next morning to a robin's song. He lay there for a moment, unsure of where exactly he was. Ginny's face flashed through his mind and he sat up. The notebook that had been on his chest fell to the ground. The world began to put itself back together in fuzzy pieces. He leaned over, picked up the book, and smoothed its pages before closing it. The he hopped out of bed, threw on pants, boots, and a coat, and went out to find some breakfast.

A few hours later, he returned successful. He moved around the tent to the small fire pit, frying the eggs he'd found. The notebook sat on the pallet, dancing in and out of his peripheral vision. As he rolled up the fried eggs to eat them, he chewed and thought again about Ginny. Was he strong enough to finish her tale?

He finished his breakfast, and washed his hands in a bowl full of melted snow. He sent the dish back into the rucksack and doused the fire with a charm. He stared at the notebook, heard the robin call again. For a moment he imagined that the song came from within the pages. He sat back down on the pallet, opened the book to a clean page, and started the end of Ginny's story.

I searched for weeks for Ginny. We followed every lead we could find. Some were fake, others not so much. We found three more horcruxes and destroyed them. We found more captives and set them free. But everywhere we went, Voldemort was just a step ahead.

December 1st gave us a lead too big to ignore. A note from Voldemort, received at Hogwarts by Minerva, ordered that I come alone to the Malfoy residence to negotiate our surrender to him. He threatened the life of someone I loved if I didn't come. I knew for certain then that we would find Ginny and a trap for me. We needed a plan.

We decided that Fred and Neville would hide underneath the cloak and follow me into the Malfoy residence. When I got there and all the Death Eaters were distracted, other members of the order would slip in the back door of the mansion and fan out. They would make a thorough search for Ginny as well as any other prisoners. When Ginny was found, that person would immediately apparate with her back to Grimauld Place. Meanwhile, we gave Gryffindor's sword to Fred. Together, they were to follow me into Voldemort's presence and subdue him at the opportune moment. All Order members would gather to the screech owl signal if anything went wrong.

Everything being in place, it was fool proof. Like a game of wizard's chess. All the pieces, all the moves planned long before we got there. Our tasks were simple: rescue Ginny, kill Voldemort. Cut and dry. It kills me now that I couldn't have been more wrong.

The rain and moonlight sent shivers down my spine as I walked toward the Malfoy estate. Dogs barked in the distance.

"You will be ok, right Harry?" Neville asked from underneath the cloak.

"Shut up," Fred said.

I stopped walking. "Quiet, both of you."

"Geez, Harry, relax. We'll be quiet, won't we Neville?"

"Right, silent."

"As the grave even."

"Most definitely."

"Shhh!" I hissed. We had reached the gates. Arthur, walking a dog across the street in disguise, gave me a nod as we walked right up to the Death Eater standing guard.

"My name is Harry Potter," I announced.

The guard said nothing, but moved to open the gate, a form came leaping out from behind the hedges as we approached. Mussed hair and wild eyes stung me as Fenrir Greyback approached.

"Welcome to the Malfoy Estate, headquarters of the Realm of Darkness. My Lord will be pleased to accept your surrender. Follow me."

More wolf than man, Greyback lumbered ahead of us. The sun sank as we approached the double front doors.

Suddenly, Greyback paused. He sniffed the air. His eyes searched behind me.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

He scowled, growled, shook his mane, and ordered the guard to open the door. I stepped through and held my breath for a moment. The guards took their time about shutting the doors, and I relaxed. A little.

The height of the ceilings or the darkness that clung to them like cobwebs didn't surprise me at all. The home of a Malfoy, no doubt about it. Fenrir's large paw-feet slapped the marble with a distinct echo and his footprints stained the lavish rugs as he led us through the halls. A set of large, dark oak doors stopped him in his tracks. He rounded on me then and I held by breath again.

"Stay right there, Potter, or I'll hunt you down and rip you apart myself, no matter what the Dark Lord says about him wanting that pleasure."

I actually relaxed a little. So the plan was to kill me. That actually made things a little easier. He would have no idea that I was accompanied, and so he would not think to defend himself as he attacked. Fred would take him down and we would fight our way out. Better than I had hoped.

I was so stupid. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when that oak door swung open. At the far end of what was almost a throne room, Voldemort sat in a high backed leather chair, his deathly pale glowing crimson in the light of a roaring fire. On his lap sat a young woman, her long hair glowing with a fire all its own. They were staring deep into each other's eyes, but they both looked up when they heard my footfalls.

"Ginny!" I yelled before I could stop myself. It was her. Her face. Her freckles. The same cheeks and hands and lips I loved.

But not her eyes. Those eyes were an almost luminescent green. Rather than being repulsed by the sight of Voldemort, they smiled, and with them so did the rest of the face I adored.

So stupid.

I thought I heard a quiet gasp from behind me. Thankfully, I resisted the urge to look. I tried to focus on Voldemort, who had apparently been talking for awhile.

"… thought you would enjoy seeing Ginny again at your surrender. Think of it as a token of my… good will," he finished.

Those eyes were holding mine now. The look was soft, like always when she looked at me. But those eyes were wrong.

I shook my head, "We'll never surrender, Voldemort. I'm here to take Ginny home and give you that message. We'll never stop. Never."

"Oh, but I think you will. Isn't that right, darling?" he hissed, and turned his red eyes to Ginny.

"Yes, quite. Harry, please stop all this nonsense about fighting him. He's much too powerful. And besides, if you hurt him," she turned her face to his, "I'd be very hurt. You don't want to hurt me, do you Harry? You see…" Her hands cupped around his face, "I love him."

I'll never be sure, but I think my sanity snapped just before her lips hit his mouth. This was all meant to break me. I knew it, and I didn't care. The next thing I remember for sure is standing over Voldemort's corpse with Gryffindor's bloody sword in both hands. Fred was fighting with the red haired girl with the wrong eyes. Neville had taken off his shirt and was ripping it to shreds.

"It's me, Gin, it's Fred!"

"No!" she screamed, "No! Tom! No, please God, no!" Sobs racked her body. She flailed with the intensity of a seizure. Slowly, the fit died down into muted crying. Neville started binding his shredded shirt around her upper leg.

I dropped Voldemort's sword like a hot iron and ran to her side. The wrong eyes were shut and tears were rolling down her face. "Ginny," I said, kneeling in a pool of her blood, "Ginny, look at me."

Her eyelids fluttered and Ginny's sweet brown eyes met mine. _Her_ eyes.

"Harry," she breathed, then "Augh! Harry! What happened?"

I stuttered but Fred took the question, "You took a nasty fall, Gin, and you've lost a lot of blood. We're going to get you back to Grimauld Place and get you all fixed up."

Ginny's eyes closed for a moment. I looked at Fred, hoping for some reassurance. Tears fell down his cheeks as he shook his head.

"I had the most horrible dream," Ginny finally said. Her breath came ragged, but she opened her eyes to speak. "I dreamed that I was in love with Voldemort and had asked you to surrender, Harry. What an awful nightmare."

"Wow, Gin," I said, smoothing her hair with my left hand as my right hand held hers. I tried to be calm, tried to smile, "That does sound terrible. Looks like Ron's spider dream is now number two on the list of nightmares."

She looked at my face then. I've never been able to hide anything from her. She knew I loved her before I knew. She knew something else I didn't now.

"Oh God, Harry, look at you! It really happened. I remember now. Some sort of spell. Like the Imperius curse, only worse because you think it's your idea. I don't know how. Bound to his life, somehow. Harry, you killed him. I always knew you would. I'm sorry, Harry, I'm so sorry."

"Yes, he's dead. And I'm sorry for you Ginny and I'm so glad you're free. It wasn't you that did those things and you have nothing to apologize for," I told her. I picked her up underneath her shoulders, cradled her head arms. From somewhere in the manor, sounds of battle drifted toward us. Neville's shirt was tacky now with blood but it continued to spill slowly down her leg. Her lips were turning blue.

"No," she shivered, struggled to speak, "I'm not sorry about that. I'm sorry about this. Remember that it's not your fault. You did what you had to do."

I put it together in an instant. I had rushed toward the throne. Somehow I had stabbed Voldemort through the heart. And, somehow, I had cut Ginny. She lay there dying in my arms.

I could still see her eyes. There was still hope.

"Ginny. Ginny, I…" I began.

"I love you, Harry Potter," she breathed, then her eyes closed.

I killed Ginny Weasley.

**A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who's waited so patiently for this chapter. I really enjoyed writing it and I think I'm finally ready to move on with this story! A big thanks to mudbloodpotter05 for inspiring me to get to work again. You can thank him too by checking out his stories. And if you enjoyed it, or even if you didn't, please R&R. Thanks again!**


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